Vermin on the Mount

VERMIN #22 IN REVIEW

Cake? Check. Lit geeks at the bar? Yep. Blood-dripping down the walls? Most def. That can only mean one thing: a Vermin on the Mount book release party!

The man of the hour was none other than Legion of Vermin member Mark Sarvas, author of Harry, Revised and The Elegant Variation. I've been friends with Mark slightly longer than Vermin on the Mount has been around. In fact, Mark helped me pass out flyers for the first Vermin on the Mount at a writerly gathering at LACMA on summer evening nearly four years ago. In any event, I was honored to present Mark and introduce his debut novel. But it didn't work out that way.

VERMIN #21

Jaysus, is it raining blood in here again? No, Owen Dara, it's just the recap to the Kiss Me I'm Vermin edition of Vermin on the Mount!

First we kicked things off with a little cervesa verde at Casey's Irish Bar & Grille downtown. Schlocky, but necessary.

The black velveted voice of Joe O'Brien warmed up the crowd with a reading from his novel-in-progress about the trials and travails of a stand-up comic.

To celebrate the paperback release of Perfect from Now On, Angry John Sellers traveled all the way from New York City to tell us why Bono isn't the wanker we think he is.

Here's Owen Dara again, this time reading from his memoir, White Horses: An Irish Childhood, which is filled with many moving moments and comic touches.

Who's that man accosting the host, you ask? It's none other than the illustrious infamous Nathan Cathcart, the inspiration for Dickie Island's amazing poster. Need a little clarity? Check the similarity:

Nathan helped me give many Kiss Me I'm Vermin shirts away in the Vermin raffle (still plenty of shirts left, especially if you're a little verminita or a big pest (ladies M & L, guys XL). All shirts are made in the USA, just like Jay, the man who makes it happen at the Mountain Bar.

Be sure to stop by soon to check out what we have in store next month when we send-up celebrate the release of Harry, Revised, by longtime member of the Legion of Vermin, Mark Sarvas.

RETURN OF THE RAFFLE

Vermin on the Mount returns Sunday, January 13, to satisfy all of your slightly irregular literary needs with a great slate of writers to kick off 2008.

In addition, we're bringing back the raffle in a big way: you could win a signed print by acclaimed artist Jorge Prado, one of the owners of the Mountain!

Get your lit. Support the arts. Win a print.

HAVE NO FEAR, VERMIN IS HERE!

The first Vermin on the Mount reading of 2008 is right around the corner with an eclectic line-up of writers from near and far on Sunday January 13 at 8pm:

JAMI ATTENBERG, author of Instant Love, returns for her second Vermin appearance to celebrate the release of The Kept Man, a novel about "art, love, death, sex, drugs, comas, donuts, Mount St. Helen's, cab drivers, Christinas, punk rock, holding on, and letting go."

VERONICA GONZALEZ'S debut novel, twin time: or, how death befell me, is a modern-day fairy tale that ranges from Los Angeles to Mexico City. Gonzalez has recently appeared at the UCLA/Hammer Museum and on KCRW's Bookworm.

DOUG CORDELL is a playwright and a regular contributor to National Public Radio's "Marketplace" program. He is also a recent transplant to Los Angeles from New York where he was involved in a number of radio and performance venues.

SAM QUINONES is a freelance journalist and California native who has been writing about both sides of the border for a decade. He is the author of two collection of nonfiction stories: True Tales of Another Mexico and Antonio's Gun and Delfino's Dream.

Plus, when you come celebrate the 20th Vermin on the Mount, you could win a spectacular prize in the Vermin raffle. More details to follow after the New Year!

VERMIN #19 RECAP

Have zombies invaded Chinatown? Souls of the damned swimming in a lake of fire? No, it's another Vermin on the Mount recap for the event that took place the day after the day after the Day of the Dead.

Kevin Moffett kicked off the reading with a love story that takes place in a zoo. The Vermin faithful can relate.

Mary Otis reads a story about quirky Angelenos. In the background, Scott O'Connor wonders if he qualifies.

Duncan Murrell knows etouffee.

Ask a Mexican author Gustavo Arellano has all the answers.

Vermin on the Mount will return on Sunday, January 13 at 8pm. Vermin wishes you a filfthy holiday season!

POOR, TIRED, UNWASHED

Sounds like Sunday night in Chinatown to me...

VERMIN #18

Either the vermin are getting aggressive or the lights at the Mountain Bar are even stranger than I remember. Or maybe it's simply time for the Vermin on the Mount recap.

Here's Ron Currie, Jr. He's got Popeye arms and drinks like a sailor. Sadly, he's also a perfect gentleman. At least he was during his reading of his outstanding short story collection God Is Dead. In the distance looms the Temple of Hop Louie and the Dim Sum of Death.

This is Michael A. FitzGerald, the hardest working man of letters in Idaho, who came all the way from Boise to read from Radiant Days. I owe everyone who came out to Chinatown an apology for talking him out of reading the cunnilingus scene. If you read one book about a guy who becomes obsessed with a Hungarian prostitute this year, make it this one.

What can we say about Katherine Taylor's performance? She moved way too fast for my not-so-mega-pixel camera and her reading from Rules for Saying Goodbye had me wondering if there were similar rules for men and if there was any chance in hell I'd gotten any of them right.

Special thanks to Fred Savinon for the excellent poster. The next reading will feature the art of El Chikle.

VERMIN #16

It's amazing. It's incredible. It's another blow-by-blow account of the first, and quite possibly last, all-poetry Vermin on the Mount. And you thought we hated poetry*. We like poetry just fine, it's the poets we usually can't stand. But on Easter Sunday the Mountain was host to three titans of poetry.

*Comment from actual Legion of Vermin. I won't say his name, but his initials are Jod Kaftan.

Meet Razor. He's been around the L.A. poetry scene a long time. He was away for a while, but now he's back, and we were both pleased and proud to have him kick off the reading with some poems that were both personal and political.

Now here's a man who never pronounced poem with two syllables. I got to meet the prodigiously talented S.A. Griffin at Bucky's last appearance at Vermin on the Mount and knew it would only be a matter of time before we got Mr. Griffin in the Legion of Vermin. He sings, he recitates, and he's one hell of a good poet, too. He was also an early mentor to young Bucky Sinister...

See? Here his is sending Bucky psychic waves of support from across the room. The book Senor Sinister is reading? It's his newest from Gorsky Press, All Blacked Out and Nowhere to Go. It contains all of the poems in Whiskey & Robots, which is now sold out, as well as the House That Punk Built epic about Bucky's time in an Oakland squat. Better get your copy now before they...

...disappear.

VERMIN #15

What's this? A Vermin recap a little more than a week after the event? This smells like a technology breakthrough at Casa Mick. Behold the wonders of ye fiancee's camera telephone...

This is Perry Crowe, novelist, journalist, and editor of the brand-spanking new online humor adventure called Mr. Judas.

Here's Jod Kaftan, erstwhile neighbor and soon to be bethrothed. He read from something he referred to as a "meta-autobiography," which goes to show you the lengths people will go to avoid calling their work a memoir. Nevertheless it was quite good and very funny.

Which brings us to Antoine Wilson, depicted here reading an excerpt from his forthcoming novel, which he taped to his shoe. 

Chances are you already know who this gentleman is. If you don't, feel free to give that rock you've been living under a shove and suck in a hearty lungful of bodacious brown air. It's L.A. author Brad Listi reading from his bestselling novel, Attention. Deficit. Disorder!

If you are scratching your head wondering if you missed the recap of Vermin #14 with Rolf Potts, Daniel Hernandez, Theresa Duncan, and Stephan Clark, you can stop looking under the seat cushions and in the cabinet where you stash the bad porn. We forgot our camera that evening, but that is not to say we did not capture some images. Stay tuned for the first ever sketchpad recap...

WATCH THIS SPACE

"Eye" know what you're thinking: Where are the updates, the blitzes, the someone's going to get their head kicked ins that I've come to love? Well fret not. The online component of Vermin on the Mount is preparing to launch a new offensive.

You've been warned. Don't be bitten...

VERMIN #13

Strange doings were afoot at The Mountain Bar last Sunday evening as a host of ghoulish half-dead hipsters shuffled down to Chinatown to celebrate the release of Todd Taylor's debut novel Shirley Wins. Candy corn + cake = soft corn.

It's okay, Todd Dills, don't be scared. Just read your excellent new novel Sons of the Rapture.

See? Rapture.

That's Liz Ohanesian. She knows the rapture that is Morrissey. And she's not even Mexican.

Neither is Joe Meno, but he kept the crowd enthralled with his tale of how the Boy Detective came to detect from his latest novel The Boy Detective Fails.

Failure is not in Todd Taylor's lexicon. His punk rock zine has been coming out like clockwork every two months for almost six years, making him the hardest working man in letters I know. Shirley Wins is his first novel. It's not made of cake. It's not made of candy corn. It's made of blood and sweat and tears.

But it sure is sweet.

See you December 3, 2006.

VERMIN #12

Books. Beer. Babes*... It must be time for a Vermin recap! Apologies for taking so long to the old Vermin picture show updated, but we've been traveling to other states, other countries and states that feel like other countries.

*Normally we wouldn't be so familiar with our honored guests, but that's no ordinary babe, I mean guest, but the Verminista responsible for this breastiful poster and showing her stuff down in San Diego.

Karen Palmer kicked things off with a short story about hedges. Why does she look so tiny? Well we had lots of close ups of Karen Palmer reading, but she read without her glasses and without her glasses she doesn't look like Karen Palmer.

Ah, that's better. Here she is with Carol Novack, who beamed down out of New York to blow our minds with her experimental languagescapes. Don't believe me?

This isn't an out-of-focus photo, folks. This is photograph of Carol just before she beamed back abord the Gotham mothership. Carol's disappearance had a disturbing effect on some of the poets...

Teka Lark Lo insisted that she was merely practicing on her invisible piano to loosen up before her performance. Luckily she pulled it together in time to tantalize the Mountain faithful with torried tales of. L.A. parties and animal abduction.

Check back next week for updates about the next event: Todd Taylor's book release party, a Mid-West invasion, and the return of Joe Meno!

PYRATS OF CHINATOWN

Ahoy, Vermin, another night of Mayhew is upon ye! You won't want to miss our two-year anniversary Pyrats of Chinatown event with Chris Abani, Teka Lark Lo, Carol Novack and Karen Palmer. Stop by next week for more details about the readers and start building your constition by doubling your rations of rum.

You've been warned...

MY LOVE IS LIKE A RED, RED RAT...

These people are:

A) Out of focus.
B) Intoxicated.
C) Staging a re-enactment of the Hunt for Red October.
D) Hanging out at the super-cool Mountain Bar for another Vermin on the Mount!

Vermin faithful will remember the salad days of Vermin on the Mount: Red lights, Sunday nights, Dutch prostitutes blitzed on hash. Those were the glory days, my friends, and we recaptured them on Sunday night, despite a little mic stand dysfunction from the host.

(That's the first time that's ever happened, I swear.) But no pinche microphone stand can interfere with the greatness that is Chad Tsuyuki's hair. Here he is reading a sordid, and totally fictional tale (wink, wink, nudge nudge) from the mean streets of Tijuana.

The incomparable Trinie Dalton reads from her novel-in-progress about a witch's visit to a graveyard with a bone saw.

Benjamin Weissman -- writer, educator, and impressario -- reads a startlingly disturbing yet supremely humorous short story from the latest issue of Black Clock.

"Don't do it," they said, ("it" being Vermin; "they" being her publishers), "nothing good can come of it!" But the intrepid Jami Attenberg flew into town from New York to read from her dazzling debut collection of short stories, Instant Love. Here she is in a photo take by Adam Janes, the artist who made this month's poster:

Jami is presently in the Pacific Northwest so come Portland, Seattle, San Francisco and Napa Valley: show some love! Until next time...

Pictured above: Jami's free story zine for those who didn't have the dolo to buy a book. How cool is that?

SWINK/VERMIN TAG TEAM!

After a day of books, commerce, and encounters with emotionally disturbed people, the Swink faithful and Vermin centurions braved cross town traffic for a night of no-holds-barred readings in the upstairs lounge at the Mountain bar in Chinatown. It's a dangerous game we play. Eight hours of book panels, book signing, and bookety bookishness is almost more than even the most fervent book lover can bear. Almost, but not quite. Salvador Plascencia is on the verge of hysteria.

Luckily, plenty of antidote was on hand. (Hint: it's cold and gold.) Cecil Castelucci, author of Boy Proof and Queen of Cool, is armed and ready.

Alexis Orgera is the poetry editor at Swink and a one-woman sales juggernaut at the Swink/Vermin booth. She's also a middle school librarian and a fantastic poet in her own right.

If you've been wondering when the next issue of Swink is coming out, fear not. You have three months to prepare to the onslaught of literary goodness that awaits you this summer. Neale DeSousa offers a sneak peak with a dispatch from Goa.

As is usually the case, there were last minute cancellations, missed flights, and viral emergencies that left us short a few readers. At ten o'clock the night before the reading the incomparable Lizz Huerta, a newly appointed director at the art, music and culture collective Voz Alta in downtown San Diego, volunteered to fill in, which she did in her usual spectacular fashion.

Did you know Salvador Plasscencia was in attendance at the very first Vermin on the Mount? It was held in a boiler room beneath the banquet hall of a Hualtuco hotel in September of 1891. Or maybe it was Scotland.

Ben Ehrenreich read from his debut novel The Suitors, a book that cries out to be aloud. At least the dirty parts do. Thankfully, that's exactly the kind of person Ben is, which makes him a very Vermin kind of a guy.

SWINK/VERMIN AT THE LATFOB

For the last two years, Swink Magazine and Vermin on the Mount have joined forces and operated a booth at the L.A. Times Festival of Books. The LATFOB is fantastic event for people who love books, but it shouldn't be confused with a literary event. Sure, there are lots of compelling panels chock full of brilliant writers of bona fide literature, but the LATFOB is ultimately about two things 1) commerce and 2) crazy people. You have to come to terms with the fact that the biggest lines will be for cook books and that people with a curious neglect of personal hygience will accuse you of spreading satanic messages. With that in mind, there are two approaches to weathering the shitstorm that is the LATFOB.

This is the stern, serious, but ultimately misguided approach of the gentleman across from the Swink/Vermin booth. Despite the whimsical title of his booth, which I choose to think of as a rhetorical question or, at least, one that demans an unflattering answer, this is not an inviting place to spend time or money, which explains why the booth was usually empty and it propietor packed up early.

We added a sofa, a record player, and a cooler full of suds and transformed the Swink/Vermin booth into a lounge, a respite from the pecuniary demands and crash of madness that is LATFOB. At least Jolene Siana thinks so.

There is a third approach, the huckster approach, taken by the memoirist next to us, and that is to lie your ass off ("I am an Amazon top-seller, top 100") and misspell the title of your own book on all your promotional material. She also misspelled the word "memoir" on her booth banner. I'd show you a picture, but I'm fairly certain she'd sue.

My favorite moment in the festival came when a super bright young kid approached the booth and started asking me questions about my book. You know how some kids are so smart you can see it crackling in their eyes? This kid had that. He was about nine or ten and his parents were nowhere in sight but there was no way I was going to sell my book to him as it's not appropriate for his age.

Kid: "What is your book about?"
Me: "I'm sorry, it's not for you."
Kid: (Offended) "I didn't ask who it's for, I asked what it's about."
Me: "It's short stories, but it's for adults."
Kid: "Hmmm."
Me: "What kind of things do you like to read?"
Kid: "Bunches of stuff. From kid's books to stuff that's waaayyy beyond your book, believe you me."

And I do.

VIVA LA VERMIN!

Ah, spring, when a young rat's fancy turns to thoughts of tacos, turnbuckles, and the 2nd Annual Swink/Vermin Tag-Team!

YETI vs VERMIN?

There's a new rat on the block. Apparently Walt Disney came back from the dead to reveal the existence of several new species in the Himalayan Hinterlands. The details wouldn't normally concern us here at Vermin HQ, except they have discovered a new species of vermin, which they have dubbed the Yeti Jumping Mouse because of the distinctive “Y” mark on its chest:

This is ironic because a new species of fighting rodent of the luchalibre genus was recently discovered in Chinatown, and we're pretty sure it can tear those yeti meeces to pieces:

Don't believe me? Well you'll have to come to the 2nd Annual Swink-Vermin Tag Team: A Night of No-Holds-Barred Readings with with Cecil Castellucci (The Queen of Cool), Ron Currie (God Is Dead), Neale Desousa (Swink), Ben Ehrenreich (The Suitors), Lisa Glatt (The Apple's Bruise), Alexis Orgera (Swink), Salvador Plascencia (People of Paper), and Steve Rinella (The Scavenger's Guide to Haute Cuisine) on Saturday, April 29, 2006, at 7 PM.

Watch this space for more details about the readers in the coming weeks. In the meantime, maybe the yeti rat can find work at the Northern Arizona Book Festival.

V IS FOR VERMIN

Vermin is coming to the Los Angeles Times Festival of Books. Stay tuned for details.

MEET THE VERMIN

Here's a closer look at the readers participating in Saturday's event:

BUCKY SINISTER is an accomplished Bay Area poet and the author of several books, including Whiskey & Robots from Gorsky Press. I read with Bucky in Oakland last year and have been trying to get him to down to Los Angeles every since. We've had some amazing poets at Vermin on the Mount, and Bucky promises to be one of the amazingest.

BoingBoing editor MARK FRAUENFELDER is the author of a book that compiles the very worst things in this terrible world we live in. It's called The World's Worst: A Guide to the Most Disgusting, Hideous, Inept, and Dangerous People, Places, and Things.

Vermin faithful already CAROLYN KELLOGG as the tireless promoter of literary Los Angeles through her podcast Pinky's Paperhaus. But did you know she was recently appointed editor of LAist? Don't miss this rare opportunity to hear her read a hard-hitting account from the mean streets of Koreatown.

MARC WEINGARTEN'S book, The Gang That Wouldn't Write Straight: Wolfe, Thompson, Didion, and the New Journalism Revolution, offers a close look and thick description of a unique period in American journalism.

Fun starts at 8, readings at 9, conflagration at midnight.

OPIUM DEN RECAP

It was a schizophrenic night at Ye Old Mountain Bar in Chinatown. No, there weren’t any EDPs in evidence (Emotionally Disturbed People) but there sure was a lot going on. First there was the west coast release of OpiumMagazine.print #1. It was also the kick-off reading for Tod Goldberg’s debut short story collection, Simplify. Amidst all that, Verminista artist Nuvia Crisol Guerra, who holds a special place in this rodent’s heart, launched a new line of novelty products featuring her artwork. Amidst all these frenetic goings on, I handed the microphone off to Opium editor-in-cheese, Todd Zuniga, and he introduced the Opium Den West Coast All Stars, none of whom are from the west coast. Why “All Stars?” Because they traveled from New York, Ann Arbor and Toronto to be with us, that’s why.

First up was Ted Travelstead, who read a short piece by the hilarious Mike Sacks. Then Pasha Malla of Canada read some short bits from a story about basketball. I don’t have a good picture of Pasha, but this is how he looked the night before at the Hobart Travel Tour at the Tribal Café in Echo Park, which is pretty much how he looked at Chinatown, squinty eyes and all.

Do you remember Melissa Bell? Angelenos were graced with a second visit from Melissa Bell, the second half of the tag team from T dot, and she treated us to a hilarious essay about her addiction to reality television show Big Brother. Yours truly was the last performer of the first half, and I read “What Do You Do With a Drunken Sailor” (with tin whistle accompaniment) a story that I co-wrote with the amazing Elizabeth Ellen. Here she is, appropriately enough, at the HMS Bounty with Hobart editor Aaron Burch.

After a brief intermission, Todd Zuniga read a short piece from the magazine about a man who comes back from the dead to confront his girlfriend only to find she has taken another lover. Here’s Todd, very much alive, during the intermission with Vermin supporters Edith and Adriana.

Next, Josh Bearman gave us a preview of a magazine he edited for the next McSweeney’s issue called Yeti Researcher, the Journal of the Society of Cryptic Hominid Investigation. It’s filled with all kinds of articles about Yetis and it’s all absolutely 100% legit. I was able to put my hands on a copy at 826 LA HQ in Venice on Sunday and it’s very cool. (Full disclosure: I contributed a review to YR.)

Last but not least, Tod Goldberg, outer of fucktards, took the stage and read the title story from Simplify.

Afterwards, many of us convened at the Full House across the street where we celebrated a successful weekend of readings and the joys of independent book and periodical publishing with fried oysters and spinach. And that, my friends, is what you do with a drunken sailor.

OPIUM DEN

It's coming...

DON'T TRY THIS AT HOME

Vermin poetry technician Alex Lemon wants you to know the new software is working just fine, but installation was a bitch.

MEET THE VERMINATORS

Jacob Forman writes screenplays and fiction in Los Angeles. His short story, Lake Hollywood, appears in the current issue of Bomb Magazine. To hear Jason read, click here.

Lizz Huerta is a Chicana poet from San Diego. She is the author of several chapbooks, including The Wings of Every Crow, Hostage of Gravity and The Papered Seed Inside of the Stone.

Wendy Molyneux contributes regularly to McSweeney’s and performs even more regularly at the Improv Olympic West .

Daniel Olivas is the author of a novella, two short story collections and a picture book. He is an attorney with the California Department of Justice.

IT'S COMING...

VERMINATOR

If you look in the upper right-hand corner of the blog you’ll see the date for the next event has been set: Saturday July 16, 2005. Details to follow.

AFTER-FESTIVAL RECAP

The latest Vermin on the Mount was easily the biggest of the series for a number of reasons: the event was sponsored by Swink, which just released it's second issue; we'd spent the entire day pimping the event at the Swink/Vermin booth at the LA Times Festival of Books; and it was Passover, so we were the only party in town. Then there was the line-up: a diverse mix of novelists, journos, short story writers and poets. There were even a few lowly bloggers skittering about. It was a chilly April evening in Chinatown. Crossing the plaza, I tried to imagine what the place must have been like in the late '70s and early '80s when punk rock bands battled for fans at Madam Wong's and the Hong Kong Cafe, Darby Crash hustled for spare change and the Knack killed New Wave. All just steps away from where the Mountain Bar now stands. Inside, weird lanterns dangle from the ceiling, the floor tiles are triangular, and the red walls look like they're oozing blood. Every time I go there I see something new. It's almost too beautiful for words. Whenever a reader asks me what they should read, I remind them that it's an irreverent reading series, anything goes. Still, I was pleasantly surprised when 6 of 8 readers (an even male to female ratio) read material with strong sexual content. There were wool-sock wearing adulterers, teen rapists, European hookers, violent voyeurs, rookie strippers and a play-by-play depiction of sexual congress involving a butt plug that was so graphic, people are still talking about it. That's what I love about Vermin on the Mount. It's not just irreverent, it's rapturously inappropriate, unexpectedly stirring, and full of experiences you can't have at Barnes & Noble. No.

(Photos by Julianne Flynn)